Why is it so bloody hard to come out to my parents?  Yes, they stupid and oppressive things, but isn't that a normal parent thing? 

I wish I could adopt Aaron's way of thinking...if they choose to disown me over it then that's too bad for them.  Currently they just don't know me.  I managed successfully to live a double life for the past 5 years, 2 of which were in my mother's house.  I even hid my trips to the hospital when I had an anxiety attack over a breakup.  Which now makes me think, my body probably couldn't handle trying to hide everything from her while trying to deal with my feelings.

I guess if my uncle hasn't disowned my cousin and she's planning on getting married how bad can it really be?  Maybe my mother would stop thinking that Pride is just something for queers to flaunt their sexuality.  I tried telling her that it's heterosexual pride day everyday...I even said "they get to kiss their partners in public without anyone harassing or staring at them".  I wonder if she even notice I didn't say "we" or "us".

A peice of advice to myself, grow a spine, stop being such a fartin' ol' chicken head.  You told all your friends, you're out at work...mind you you don't live in the same city as your parents, your parents will get over it.

Picture it...a TV commercial for Levitra (I think something like Viagara) has this guy coming home all happy and walks in to find his wife painting portraits of him.  She has three of them, one of him winning a race, one I've forgotten now and the third that she is just finishing is of him as the captain of a ship.  Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with this picture? 

First, I'm sure his wife has better things to do than paint his portrait all day.  Second, why is this commercial showing him being painted as being superior?  They might as well have had her in the kitchen baking him a giant cake or something, but maybe that would have been too noticably wrong.  Is he really that wonderful that she should bow down and call him captain?  Who would come up with something that if a guy has erectile dysfunction that he is less of a man in the first place.  You don't hear anyone saying that a woman is less of a woman because she can't have kids (and she's still a wonderful strong person if she can't).  Why?  Because women aren't supposed to be sexual and if they are they get called names.  The patriarchy is indeed shit.

I'm a student.  Me.  A student.  No, I'm not kidding and I'm not sleeping, I really did sign up to take a public administration class.  I'm still somewhat in shock about it but very glad I did.  Remind me I said that when I'm in the middle of my 8 page essay!

I like the textbook, the prof seems good, I've been watching the news and reading the newspapers like mad.  I saw so many classes that looked interesting from topics on Aboriginal politics in Canada, globalization, social policy, women and politics, third world countries and equity and human rights, most of which is being touched on in my current class.

Well, nerd here should get back to that nice textbook.

Yesterday being the 3rd anniversary of Sept 11 gave me lots to think about.  The american government has not changed its ways at all, they learned nothing about why it's wrong to interfere with other countries and cultures.  We may not always agree with things that go on in other countries, like women being treated like second class citizens, but who are we to step in and  try to force our culture on someone else?  Neither is right, but how do we help a country to not violate human rights without forcing changes? 

Then there are rights in our own country.  Canada is not perfect.  Our own government treats aboriginal people very poorly.  Our last elections had nothing about improving the safety of women, in fact some provincial governments are or are going to wipe out services that are important to helping women.  Our police officers have a record for targetting minorities.  Saskatchewan's police have driven aboriginal people to the outskirts of cities to make them walk back to "sober up", the results of this sometimes is death because of subzero temperatures.  You wouldn't see the police do that to a white man.

We have made some progress in the way queers are treated, but there is still a way to go.  I know with myself I have a lot still to learn about how to make things better.

It's been sort of an odd week work wise.  Monday I met with a recruiter and we talked about the fact that the company I'm with pays very poor compared to other insurance companies.  To be a bigger asset in the field I needed to get experience with endorsements, cancelations and renewals.  Low and behold Tuesday the endorsements supervisor pulled me aside and gave me a position on her team.  It's no extra pay, but in the long run that's what it will turn into.  This works in my plan to earn extra money and take classes part time so I can do something I really want to.  My list of things I'd like to study is:  Computer Programming (which I know already that I'm good at, just lacking experience), Law, and Political Science.  I think though that Law would be too much to do part time and work...I remember watching a friend go through it, actually no I don't because I never saw him!  So, computers or politics it is. 

Well, time to get my indecisive bottom to the kitchen to make dinner!